Chicken Butts

OK, back to where we left off...chicken butts.  Once again this is a VERY important part of chicken anatomy.  It serves as the, shall we say, exit, for all that poop.  And what's most important is that the 'exit' needs to be kept clean or they will 'paste up.'  I'm not kidding you.
Alert for the squeamish here...I'm going to be discussing chicken butts and poop for a little bit.  If this not your forte in life, feel free to skip ahead a bit.  I respect your wishes.

Now where was I...of yeah, chicken butts and poop.  'Pasting up' is when the poop sticks to the chicken's butt and then dries, thus not allowing any more poop to come out the 'exit.'  This is a job for the 'Chicken Crack Checker.' (A term coined by sister as this became her job during her visit).

I'll interrupt with a chicken fact here.  The technical term for the poop shoot is the 'vent.'  I learned that at chicken class.  Aren't you proud of me? 

Here's how the job of the 'Chicken Crack Checker' is performed.  First, two 'Checkers' try to get a good look at each chicken's butt, this in itself is not as easy at it may appear on the surface.  With 15 little balls of fuzz peeping and pecking and pooping and scurrying around it is hard to identify which butt needs cleaning.
Now here's where the fun part comes in...once one of the 'Checkers' identifies which butt needs closer inspection you then have to separate them from the herd, I mean flock, and then grab only that particular chick.

It all goes something like this.
First Checker says with enthusiasm, 'I think I see one.'
Second Checker, 'Which one?'
First person points in general direction of swarming beaks and butts.
'That one?'
'No, that one!'
'It's on it's way to your side of the box.'
'Which one?'
'That one!'   More pointing of finger.

Second Checker makes blind grab into swarm.
'You missed it.'
'Now it's on your side.'  As the chick merges back into the swarm of same color fluff.
'Which one is it again?' More pointing of finger.
Blind grab and success!  First Checker has caught a chick...but upon further inspection it's not the correct chick....this one's butt is clean.
Darn.
Release of chick.
Repeat of the above dialogue and finger pointing. Blind grab again and got one! This one's butt is in need of cleaning. (cheers go up)  More choreography here... first Checker holds chick while pointing it's butt in the direction of the second Checker, second Checker inspects said butt and evaluates use of proper cleaning technique.  Second Checker decides on the ever popular 'Wet Paper Towel' method and moves in for the clean up.  Second Checker is satisfied with results, confirms cleanliness with First Checker and chick is released back into the swarm once again.
This scene is repeated until all butts are cleaned to both Checkers satisfaction.

In case you wondering, the chickens don't really enjoy this whole process.

Seriously, this is how I spend my time now...checking chicken butts .  A Mother Hen's job is never done!

Just a note on my social life...it's basically back to non existent again.  Apparently my popularity was short lived. 

Gotta go now...time to check butts once again!